What Age Should Kids Get a Phone?

Your kids probably stay home alone, walk to friends’ houses by themselves, or attend after-school activities around the ages of 12–13. A cell phone is perfect for emergencies and pick-up requests.

No, we’re not saying you should let the government tell you how you parent. But social media is one of the earliest birthday-contingent milestones your kid gets to look forward to, and they’re probably excited. If your child hasn’t delivered a persuasive speech yet about why they need to join Snapchat or Instagram, get ready.

So, how are other parents answering, “What age should a child get a cell phone?” According to the Pew Research Center, most parents (45%) think it’s acceptable for kids to have a phone between the ages of 12 and 14. About 28% of parents wait until ages 15 to 17, and 16% think it’s fine to let kids as young as 9 have their own phones. Other surveys show similar results.^2,3

This means you need a game plan for the inevitable, “But everyone has a phone!” argument coming your way. As tempting as it is to turn this into a lesson about individuality and not caving to peer pressure, think about it from your kid’s perspective. 

It’s not fun to be the one who is left out of plans formed via text or who doesn’t have the same socialization or media outlets as everyone else. 

Rebecca here—as a working single parent, I needed to stay in touch with my kids, so they got phones between 10 and 12 years old. It was the most immediate way for me to feel comfortable as I started phasing out after-school programs and traditional child care.

Keep in mind, this was in the early aughts, so there were way fewer distractions and (seemingly constant) dangers online—like rampant social media, instant messaging apps, etc. It was a bit of a simpler time, and we were able to use phones as a family lifeline, and (thankfully) for us, it worked out.

My recommendation is to evaluate your family dynamic, your kids' maturity and responsibility levels, and your unique needs. If you're willing to set up the right boundaries, utilize kid-safe technology, and stay diligent, a phone can be the right fit for some younger kids.

To set your kid up for success, make sure they show a certain level of maturity and responsibility before letting them have a phone. Here are three signs your child isn't ready for a phone.

Phones aren’t cheap. If your kid is constantly losing or destroying things, their phone won’t last long. Consider having your child save up for an affordable flip phone and see how it goes. Let them know it’s a test run and that responsibility will earn them a chance to have a smartphone. And this is one time where we recommend getting whatever insurance or replacement protection is available—even with the most responsible kid, things happen. When it comes to phones (and glasses), I say get the insurance every time!

If they’re already struggling to step away from the TV or computer to take care of homework, hygiene, or household chores, adding a phone won’t help. Teach them how to balance their screen time with parental controls or with a strict “one hour of homework first” policy. (And be sure to model the behaviors you want to see from them—as the old PSA said, "I learned it by watching you!")

Giving them a device that lets anyone talk to them at any time can be a recipe for disaster—bullying is likely to get worse when there’s no one observing it. 

But at the same time, your child shouldn’t be punished for other kids’ rude behavior. You don’t necessarily need to delay getting them a phone, but do approach this purchase with caution.

The answer to the question of when a child should get a cell phone might be that a smartwatch is a smarter choice. For younger kids, start with a device—like a kids smartwatch—that gives you full control over their contact list. For kids age 13 and up, use a parental control app that lets you check in on messages and/or sends you cyberbullying alerts.

Do the research, talk to your kid, and seek advice from experts or other trusted adults in your circle (kids aren't the only ones who need guidance). The good news is you have different options for your child’s first phone—here are three devices to consider.

A kids phone offers a little more freedom (and street cred) and looks just like a smartphone, but without the ability to download apps without approval or visit any website. You can choose models that do or don’t connect to the internet and social media, depending on how you want your kid to use the phone.

Finally, you can opt for a true smartphone. We recommend choosing an Android phone instead of an iPhone, since parental control apps have greater functionality on Android phones. Apple enacts strict privacy rules that hinder parental controls, but you can view a list of iOS parental controls in our setup guide.

Once you've got a phone picked out, the next step is to choose a parental control app. Learn what to look for in our guide to parental controls.

Communicate that you trust them to use it responsibly. They need to maintain your trust through responsible use. This is a good time to update your family's internet safety contract—or set one up, if you haven't done it yet. You're helping to create the next generation of digital citizens, send them into cyberspace prepared for success!

Don’t wait for your child to have a problem before limiting their phone usage. Without guidance from you, they’re at significant risk of smartphone addiction.⁴ Side effects include poor sleep, poor academic performance, strained parent/child relationships, and increased anxiety/depression. 

Try these techniques for keeping a close watch on your child’s screen time:

• Require the phone to be charged overnight. Keep the charger in the kitchen (or anywhere but your child’s bedroom). Use a lockable charge box if your kid can’t resist temptation.
• Create “phone-free zones.” The dining-room table is an excellent example. 
• Designate “phone-free times.” This could be a strict time period (phones off and on the charger by 8 p.m.) or something along the lines of, “phones must be put away while walking.” Parental control apps help you enforce this with “quiet mode.”
• Have alternative activities at the ready for phone-free moments. Whether you break out board games, jigsaw puzzles, variety puzzle books, bocce ball, croquet, paints and canvas, grandma’s favorite cookie recipe, or the dog’s leash, it’s your job to set up non-screen activity structures for your kid.
• Lead by example. Kids are super observant and will definitely call you out on your double standard if they catch you mindlessly scrolling through Facebook at the dinner table. Follow your own rules and demonstrate healthy smartphone habits. 

This is a formal agreement between you and your kid that covers expectations, responsibilities, and consequences. Lay down all the ground rules about screen time, passwords, message content, internet usage, parental surveillance, and even monthly bill payment (e.g., do they pay overages?). Type it up, print it out, and sign it together.

• Internet Safety Guide for Kids
• 6 Ways You Can Help Your Kids Stay Safe at School
• 7 Simple Ways to Keep Kids Safe While Playing
• Dangerous Apps for Kids

1. Brooke Auxier, Pew Research Center, “Parenting Children in the Age of Screens,” July 2020. Accessed August 20, 2024.
2. SellCell, “Kids Cell Phone Use Survey 2019,” July 2019. Accessed August 20, 2024.
3. Panda Security, “When Should Kids Get Smartphones? (Survey),” June 2019. Accessed August 20, 2024.
4. Sei Yon Sohn, BioMed Central, “Prevalence of Problematic Smartphone Usage and Associated Mental Health Outcomes Amongst Children and Young People: A Systematic Review, Meta-Analysis and GRADE of the Evidence,” November 2019. Accessed August 20, 2024.